Are You My Mother? The Changing Norms of Adoption and Donation

Lisa Belkin, Huffington Post, 3/22/2012

...just last month, Marquardt wrote an article in the Atlantic, titled "Do Mothers Matter", which turned her lens on the children conceived using egg donors and womb surrogates. Wouldn't they have the same questions and rights as adoptees, or children conceived with donated sperm? she asked. Or, more bluntly: aren't parents who go through the process of hiring an egg and/or womb donor essentially "helping themselves to other people's children?" If full disclosure is expected for a child who was adopted after conception, why is that not the norm for children who are, in effect, conceived with the intention that they will be "adopted?" Add in the reality, Marquardt points out, that many children conceived using gamete donors are born to single or same sex parents, and you find yourself wrestling with the additional question of whether it is right to conceive a child who will never have a mother (when donor eggs are used) or a father (donor sperm.) A swath of parenting bloggers decisively disagreed with the idea that these donors have any of the rights or responsibilities of parents. "To imply that a biological mother is somehow more important than the mother or father who is actually changing your diapers, reading you bedtime stories, and offering you unconditional love is absolutely ridiculous," writes April Peveteaux over at The Stir.

Subjects: Family, Donor conception, Motherhood

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